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Wednesday, December 31, 2008 4:21 pm
goodbye listen, ♥  like a tatoo, you've engraved yourself in my heart. 2008 is coming to its end in mere hrs, mins and secs. i swear i'm welcoming the new year with open arms but do i really have to be 18 so soon? 34 more days. ): its nt long since i celebrated my 17th birthday and in a flash, another yr has gone by. oh, if you happen to nt knw. i'm nt going for the countdown alrdy cause i'm tired, lazy and what nt. in any case, i aint in any mood at all, dun ask me why. i dunno either. a new yr would mean a fresh start. (: best wishes to the whole world. :X i'm being so stupid. but who cares? i'm aching frm sleeping too much. the freaking bed is like (-.-) so much for buying such an expensive bed. i think my bed is falling apart too. maybe because of the way i climb onto it and stuff. :X the yr of terror is ending and yes, i am very very elated. but to think that everyone would be moving on with their lives hurts. ): oh well, we will grow up and move on someday. a bad yr is gonna pass soon. hopefully 2009 would be a better yr. (: at least, for me. i dun wanna face death ever again. i dun wanna lose anyone dear to me at all. ): please, dun let that happen. i wanna be a better daughter. i wanna make my parents happy and proud and nt hate me for everything i do. i wanna have you by my side, to love me for who i am. but this is life and who am i to decide on anything? i've been thinking through for the past few days. do you really mean that much to me? oh well, hohoho. i've straightened it out and yes, you do mean something to me. okayyyy, i still happen to miss you? SILLY, i miss you loads loads loads. i havent seen you in ages and whn are we going out uh? VODA, i miss you ehhhhhh. whn we going to meet again? let's go for trng on friday. DEARR, so we're nt doing our manicure. will we still be going out? alrighties, enjoy the last bit of 08 because 09 is knocking our doors soon. (: 09 will be a better yr, i hope! (: oh my gwad, i cannot stand people who dun reply msges! ROAR! CHEERS TO THE GOOD AND BAD TIMES IN 08! (: FOR YOU I'LL BLEED MYSELF DRY. the chapters of my life. xoxo, MARTHA! :D rumours will die off soon. i finally knw why we're avoiding each other. :X do we really have to be like that? ):
Tuesday, December 30, 2008 11:55 pm
memories listen, ♥  its all abt you. i was so bored that i went through the testimonials i've received ovr the yrs. it was pretty good as memories kept flashing bck. i really miss those times i spent with my friends. the good and bad times we've went through together and the friendship we share ovr the yrs. sometimes i find it hard to believe that these people have been walking with me through thick and thin. and the bond we share is just impossible to describe. people walk in and out, people make an impression in our lives but who can really take the test of time? some of my friends have and i really thank them for always being there. sometimes its feels like an obligation for me to turn to them because aft all, we've all shared our weals and woes and we shouldnt give each other chances to deny ourselves. looking bck, i really miss those times i've spent with most of them. the fun, laughter, quarrels, fights, disputes. we've gone through so much ovr the yrs and what is life without friends? like seriously. in a flash, so many yrs have passed and seiously, we're all grown up ; sensible, sensitive and moving on with our own lives. i swear i would willingly die for my friends. obviously those who stood by me whn i was down and out. and for those who didnt, why would i deny you the friendship we share? i find it hard to believe that i have soooo many friends who'll always stand by me. looking bck at those comments really made me feel relieved because i knw i can count on my friends whenever i'm in trouble. and i knw they'll nvr reject me. (: its soooo gd to be looking bck at all the happy times i've shared with my friends. though things dun always go our way, i am always assurred a shoulder to cry on whn i'm sad. whn in doubt, there are always people there to help me. what am i to do without them? i guess i'm pretty blessed. life's so colourful with them arnd and thank you for the friendship we share. i promise to continue catching you whn you fall and to always be there, rain or shine. (: beautiful words will always be engraved in my heart and if i happen to forget you one day, just scream the words and you knw i'll come running aft you telling you hw much i've missed you all along. my friend, would you walk through forever with me and promise me that we'll nvr be apart? part of my memories are all written in the blog alrdy. whats left are just the bits and pieces in my life. i've gone through so much as an individual and i'll nvr see myself fall right on my face. failure is a path to success and nth can stop be frm doing my best. and since i promised to do you proud, i'll stop at nth to be the best that i can be! i will achieve great honours, just for YOU. cause you mean so much to me. to befriend you is my honour. to love you is my pride. i'll stop at nth to be the best among the rest. i promise to shine like the brightest star, eventually. (: and guess what, everyone want to be 18yrs old but the thought of being 18 in mere 35days irks me. and yes, i DO NOT wanna grow up. neither do i wanna be a kid again. i just wanna be who and what i am nw, living a life with adventures. WE'LL ALWAYS BE ONE AT HEART. friends can nvr be replaced. xoxo, MARTHA! :D i'll do whatever it takes, to turn this around. i knw whats at stake, i knw i've let you down. but if you give me a chance, believe me i could change. i'll keep us together, whatever it takes. ps : & thats because you mean so much to me. will i still matter as much as before?
7:11 pm
was it meant as a joke listen, ♥  hand in hand, love i sent. i've been receiving random msges and seriously, their pissing me off. (-.-) get off my back! if you wanna gossip, find something or someone else to, cause it isnt very funny. today's a pretty boring day i would say. i wouldnt set a verdict before my MUM come home because she might screw up my day as you knw hw much of a bitch she can be. so, the day is fine until this point of time. unless anyone screws it up. and yes, i'm a lil pissed off but at the same time happy. cause i can go for the countdown with my friends! :D breaking the same old boring routine year aft year. (: YAYNESS! :D wait, it all boils down to MUM again. if she doesnt allow me to go thn i'm screwed but still, i insist on going out, especially for the countdown. hohoho. (: i woke up very late today as i was tired. my day began at like almost 1pm? i didnt have tuition today cause KUN is ovrseas. (: i washed up and ate my lunch. it was yummy! :D thn i sat down to watch lil nonya. daddy taped it for me ovr the weeks and i finally finished watching every episode and understand everything alrdy. :D okay, thats the main reason why i'm happy actually. :P cause i finally completed my series and i can continue watching the show as per normal until i go out and daddy has to tape it for me again. :X i've been home the whole day busying myself with lil nonya. oh my gwad, i think its damn gd but poor yuzhu. ): i wanna go countdown but theres no plan yet. ): maybe going with DEAR and her friends or else, KEVIN and gang. LOL! (x but everything's nt confirm yet. so changes might occur. i spent my whole day like that. hohoho. thats alll. (: GOODBYE! :D DEARR, whats your boy's nickname? hohoho, i wanna take my sweet revenge. :D BY THE WAY, I TRIED TO SAY I'M LEAVING. if only it could be. xoxo, MARTHA! :D you make my heart skip a beat. whn i hear of the things others say, i carnt help but feel happy yet sadd. is there really something between us? you make me wonder, you left me wondering if its true.
6:12 pm
pictures listen, ♥   training traffic lights. (:      aft vivo.    at my hse. (:    HELLO PEOPLE! :D instead of the usual stuff, i decided to place pictures because they speak a thousand words more thn i do. (: and yes, the pictures depicture nw much fun i've had with VODA ovr the past few times we've met. i just received the pictures today and i was thinking, why nt just upload them since i'm super free. (: alrighties, i'll blog ltr. i practically did nth today. hohoho. xoxo, MARTHA! :D
Monday, December 29, 2008 10:20 pm
forgotten listen, ♥  if you love me, let me knw. HELLO! (: today seems so much like a better day. i woke up bright and early. did some stuff and rushed off to meet LICIOUS FAMILY! (: its been a long time since we last had an outing and i really enjoyed our FAMILY DAY! :D its such great fun being arnd them and i really enjoyed myself. furthermore, it pulled me away frm thinking abt what happened ytd. so, THANK YOU LICIOUS FAMILY! :D we went to vivo and we stayed at vivo through out. oh my gwad, i almost died. ROFL! :D i met the others 12pm, at vivo while they met 1125am at clementi. they reached slightly earlier thn me and went to get tickets for the movie but we couldnt catch the 1225pm movie cause it was selling fast and there wasnt space left. so we decided on the 240pm movie. watched bed time stories and it wasnt as fantastic as i thought it shld be. ): but oh well, i've paid and i've laughed my butt off. :X alrights, aft the movie there wasnt much to do and seriously, i carnt remember what we did. hohoho. i remember LOVER gt lost in toy r us and we were screaming her name. ROFL! :X we eventually found her browsing arnd randomly. DEARR and i booked our manicure on friday at 5pm. which means vivo again. (-.-) ROFL! :X we have plans for friday but before anything, i guess i'm going for trng. (: had dinner at imm and i went to find DEAR! :D i missed her soooooooo much! tmr's her bday, so HAPPY ADVANCE BIRTHDAY NARIMAH DEAR! :D ILOVEYOU! :D :D :D and yay, we'll all meet up soon. (: VODA! :D i miss you tooooo and i wanna go out with you tooo. i'll msg you tmr! :D and thn we'll decide on a day. (: i dun wanna sink too deep. i wanna get bck on my feet. i dun wanna think of you anymore. i wanna be the person of my dreams. alrighties, thats all for today. (: GOODBYE! :D i'm very very tired anyway. argh, i gt tuition tmr. (-.-) 37 days to my 18th birthday. ): YOU LEFT ME WONDERING WHY. be there for me, just like before. xoxo, MARTHA! :D whn you held my hand, so many things came flashing into my mind. actually, you dun have to avoid me. i shld be the one doing so.
Sunday, December 28, 2008 11:12 pm
scarred listen, ♥  whn nth goes your way. firstly, i apologise for nt blogging for days. i'm updating everything now. i promise i wun just shut the whole system down like i did ytd no matter hw pissed i may be. secondly, i'm freaking pissed off so dun freaking get on my nerves. and thirdly, HELLO! (: pardon my self-centered-ness and my arrogance for nw. its my freaking life anyway! as expected, the bbq party didnt go well at all. it was a complete flop and seriously, we gt to thank the idiots for their presence and for screwing up everything. all went well until the idiots became too selfish and didnt wanna share what they had. moreovr, they cooked up freaking excuses to cover up. do you think we're morons or what? or are your brains cooked in the process. dumb fark. there wanst much to eat at all thanks to the idiots arnd and boy, why were we surprised? JACKY, WEILUN, JON and i were freaking pissed. i swear we could kill anyone who irritated us that night. and i'm feeling like that right now. okayyy. so we didnt have enough food to eat and we were freaking hungry. the only 24hr delivery shitzxzxzx was macs. so we were like, okayyy. wait for them to go hm thn we order macs. we were super selfish whn we kept the super nice marshmallows. hohohozxzxzx. it tasted so gd cause we were all hungry. ROFL! :X so we had marshmallows and potatoes. it was super gd. we were freaking hungry we could just die that instant. everyone left at abt 1130pm? yeahh. leaving the 4 of us there. thanks for being idiots man! so 4 of us were savouring the potatoes and marshmallows. we talked, crapped and were behaving like -.- ROFL! :X we went to the toilet and it was really spooky. the guys stood outside while i went in cause there was people in the toilet. aft we went to the toilet, we went bck to out bbq pit. we were all craving for more food. hence we decided on macs but the problem was, we didnt have macs number. ROFL! :X so we were like, "wth, what a night." we were in such despair we were like "we're nvr gonna invite these idiots ever again." WEILUN decided to walk ovr to another pit whr there was people to ask if they had macs number. so i went with him cause they said something like "dun walk arnd alone." so i accompanied him. whn we reached the bbq pit, he didnt have the courage to ask the person and there was marshmallows in his mouth. ROFL! :X so i decided to ask them instead of standing there and he walked ovr with me. so i asked them the number and they were thinking "why this girl so random?" but i couldnt be bothered. LOL! (x and they said the number in chinese and thn i was like "omg, they spoke to me in chinese." and i was trying to mince out the number. thn i told weilun the number and he was like "eh, correct anot?" i translated it into english and thn i said "CORRECT! :D" with a bigggg grin. LOL! (x he called macs but his phone didnt have much battery and the reception there was really badddd. he irritated the person on the line with his slang. ROFL! :X and we ordered what we wanted and we played poker while waiting for the person to come. the person came at like 1am? so we were like, "finally come sia,, hungry ehhh." at 12am, we called ASS and wished him. we all went to find a seat because we didnt wanna sit at our pit again. lol. so we went hunting for another place. we eventually found a seat and we sat there. aft eating, we were all tired alrdy. we wanted to sleep but it was too random a spot. ROFL! :D i wanted the toilet again so we left the place and we went to the toilet. this time, there wasnt anyone inside so they went in with me. (: so nice of them luhs. (: ROFL! :D thn we went to sit at the benches and they guys decided to sleep there. i was like "oh my gwad, serious arhs." and they slept. i wanted to sleep as i was tired but i couldnt. i stayed up the whole night. everytime they moved, they saw he wide awake. ROFL! :X JON didnt wanna sleep but he eventually fell asleep and he woke up the latest. WEILUN woke up first followed by JACKY and thn JON. i didnt sleep a wink. so many people walked arnd and there were so much rats. nt forgetting, it was super cold and we were facing the sea. dawn (as in morning) came but i didnt get the see the sunrise cause we sat at the wrong spot. ROFL! :X we left at arnd 7am. JON and JACKY took 30 to sch and hm respectively while WEILUN and i took 188 hm. they were lucky as they gt the bus as soon as they left. WEILUN and i waited so long before the bus came. i couldnt take it alrdy. being awake for 19hrs has taken its toil so i slept on the bus all the way hm. weilun woke me up thn i reached and i said "byeee" and left. ROFL! :X i reached home at arnd 8am and i went straight to bed until 2pm. ROFL! :D it was great spending time with the 3 of them they were really funny and funn to be with. (: thanks for having me ovr and being so nice to me. i was the only girl frm the starting to ending and nvr did they make me feel out of place. (: THANK YOU! :D i woke up to have my lunch and slacked arnd. i left hm at arnd 4+pm to meet DEARR at tiong. soon aft we met, we went to meet AIAI at city hall. its so great to see AIAI again. and its sooo much fun being with DEARR though i was really tired. i enjoyed my day for just that few hrs and i came hm to sleep all ovr again. ROFL! :D nt forgetting, i came online to post a "happy birthday" message for ASS. better appreciate it okayyyyyyy! saturday was a super short day for me but it was really splendid to a certain point. i slept very early cause i was tired but i still couldnt wake up for church today morning. ): i wanted to go for the 1045am mass but i couldnt wake up so i had no choice but to go for the 1230pm mass while was a real terror x horror. i went with JAMES and JEREMY but came home all alone. (-.-) came home to have lunch, slack and thn watched little nonya. daddy taped it for me. (: hohohozxzxzx. so nice luhs. (x hohoho. thn i bathed at like 6pm and rushed to the cc cause i had to receive my bursary. (: yay! i have money once i bank the cheque in. (: but i have to wait for tuesday though. (-.-) i waited so long and i was super pissed off. moreovr, i was eff-ing hungry. aft taking the stupid money frm the morons, i left. i thought dinner would be served but they were waiting for me before they ordered. and the morons took freaking long to take our order. i was super pissed off luhs! oh well, the food sucked and we were complaining like crazy. ROFL! :X we left aft eating. i came home cause i was lazy. liverpool did so well for their match. ROFL! :X they totally trashed newcastle. i'm begining to feel tired alrdy. slacked arnd and thn i remembered aunty pauline dun open so early. so i told MUMMY that i might nt be able to help her pay tmr. and she just flared up. like wtf luhs! i will be meeting me friends at clementi but since aunty pauline isnt open why carnt we pay another day? EFF-ING INFLEXIBLE LUHS! thats why i'm super pissed off. like tmd, at least i freaking told you right? i dunno whats your freaking problem with me luhs. aft you joined this freaking work force, all you do is get on my nerves. all you do is try to freaking provoke me. wtf is wrong with you luhs. you think they're better thn me, so be it. it doesnt matter at all alright. you dun have to keep finding opportunities to piss me off and to provoke me right? it doesnt matter who you freaking mix with luhs. i dun give fark, its your sons that have a problem. i dun even care if you love me like before cause i knw in your heart, they're more precious thn i am to you. they dun piss you off or get on your nerves. they dun irritate you like i do and they love everything you do for them. what do i do for you? provoke you, irritate you and make you hate me. right? whn you get presents, they're always the first you get for. you didnt even bother to get me a gift. you're so obessed ovr them that you forgot to get me a CHRISTMAS gift. it didnt matter initially but nt that i realise hw unimportant i am, its begining to hurt so much. i'm your freaking flesh and blood but you treat me this way. dun they have parents too? why must you treat them like your own? who the fark are they to you? sometimes i really wonder. if your kids dun mean anything to you while your collegues do, thn whats the point of having us arnd? if you want us jealous of hw loving you can be to others, you've achieved it. and fark you, i despise you for being such a mother! i swear! i'm damn pissed off. i feel so hurt and insulted. why would i want a mother that doesnt love me? why shld my mum's love for me be replaced cause she has someone else in her life? its nt fair at all! before you farking insult someone, can you please look at yourself in the mirror? fark everything. i'm sorry i screamed at you AUNTY. i'm sorry i asked you to shut up. i didnt wanna do it either but you didnt wanna stop ranting. i'll end my post nw. i'm nt in a gd mood any longer and i carnt hold bck my tears any longer. GOODBYE! i'm meeting DEARR, SWEETIE and LOVER tmr. (: yayness! ASS, its alright if you carnt go. you need to work anyway. MY DESIRE FOR YOU WOULDNT FADE. i realise i still love you like before. xoxo, MARTHA! :D i knw it hurts but i dun need a mother that doesnt love me.
Saturday, December 27, 2008 10:54 pm
hohoho listen, ♥  HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIEREN, ASS! :D xoxo, MARTHA! :D
Friday, December 26, 2008 1:30 pm
if only you could let it be. listen, ♥  the simplicity of words. HELLO! :D its boxing day and boooohooohooo. i dun get to watch my match cause i have to go for the bbq party and stayovr. ): whn a man of few words speak, what do you do? LISTEN! so i gladly obliged and accepted the offer for the bbq. what a stupid reason. moreovr, i thought i could have more thn just that. why carnt you be free? i dun wanna force you anyway. (: but i really want you there. i hope it'll be funnn and i dun even knw who'll be there. i'll miss your presence alright, it was just a favour i was asking. but in any case, you werent obliged to listen. i just woke up btw. LOL! (x i slept at like 2am ytd but i was really tired so i woke up at like 1pm? hohoho. satisfying 11hrs of sleep and also, to make up for the lost time tonight. dun think i'll be able to sleep there and thn. ): so i decided to sleep in until like 1pm? LOL! (x SILLY woke me up at like 10am? yeahhhhh. LOL! (x he's damn random but oh well. (: all's good. both of us went bck to sleep at 1030am. LOL! (x super duper uper random. but oh well, we needed to sleep. :X so i'm waiting for the hr to come and thn to leave the hse. i'm so reluctant to go for the bbq but i've alrdy promised them so oh well. i really wanna watch my match though. ): i wonder what we're like gonna do luhs. bleahs! ASS birthday is in 10hrs++ LOL! (x bet he's excited to be 17. (: i may nt have the best of CHRISTMAS but i sure hope i have a good yr ahead. (: i wanna spend time with so many people before the yr ends but no one seems to be free. ): oh my gwad, i think i'm so gonna be out of place during the bbq cause i dunno who'll be going and all that stuff and i dun wanna be like the odd one out. ): why carnt you make time for me and come? i think i'll be bored stiff and i'm like so dead. guess SILLY's still sleeping. LOL! (x i'm like dead. i havent gotten BERNARD anything for his brithday. (x oh well, theres nth much to say actually. as much as i wanna go for the bbq, the reluctance to stay hm and be comfortable is there. and anyway, i need to get out of the hse before i go crazy! :X i stayed hm the whole of ytd and i almost died at night. HURRAY! :D i get to see bth DEARR and AIAI tmr. (: BOO! ): cause i dun get to see SILLY thn. ): i'm turning 18 in 40days. -screams- I DUN WANNA GROW UP! ): growing up means responsibilities and i dun wanna be burden-ed just yet. oh well, we all have to grow up some day. and and and I STILL INSIST ON GETTING A VAMPIRE BOYFRIEND! :D hohoho. (x i dunno what i'm gonna do for the nxt 4hrs+ until i leave hm. i'm like so dead? cause there's nth to do? VODA, i hope everything's alright. ILOVEYOU! a simple word can hit me so hard, it can also make everything seem so perfect for a moment. thank you for those little things and words that comforted me in a way or another whn i was down and out. i guess i'll nvr forget those lovely words you people have etched into my heart. those words really made my day seem better and brighter. thank you for making me yearn for a better tmr. (: thank you for making my life seem so blissful. (: for everything and anything. i thank you for all the goodness you people have brought into my life. i'll nvr forget those words and i promise nvr to forget any of you. (: alrighties. GOODBYEEE! :D I KNW YOU'LL NVR BE MINE no matter hw much i desire to have you. ♥ MARTHA! :D life's nt for me to decide. i'm holding on to what's left.
Thursday, December 25, 2008 11:11 pm
jolly good time listen, ♥  fall for you. HELLO! :D MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! :D this year's CHRISTMAS was a big hit nt to me but my other family members. they sure had a jolly good time, having fun with their friends and our family members. on the other hand, i had no one to share or enjoy CHRISTMAS with. i'm living with it. (: everyone seem to be enjoying themselves except me. ): i'm moving on. (: i'm cheering myself up by numbing myself. but i'll be okay in awhile. aft everything's ovr, i'll be alright and feeling better. i'm certain. everyone's soaking in the fun but i'm like all alone in a corner, staring at them having all the fun in the world. what a perfect CHRISTMAS for me. (: how wonderful is this? what a wonderous year it has been for me. i really hope 09' would be a better year for me. i seem so sick and tired of everything. i love the dun they share together and the bonding they have. i wish i could have many friends coming ovr each yr and soaking in the fun we share. i wish i could enjoy CHRISTMAS like they do. anyway, THANK YOU FOR THE SUPER AWESOME PRESENTS! :D i love them loads and i appreciate it. (: okayyyyyy. i have to go for a bbq tmr and i have to stay ovrnight. oh my gwad. i'm finally gonna see AIAI on saturday, with DEARR! :D YAYNESS! :D i was freaking paiseh earlier on but its okayyyyyy. (: hohoho. alrighites. i'll end CHRISTMAS this way. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! :D and thanks for the greetings. (: YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING. would you be there? xoxo, MARTHA! :D |
♥  MARTHA KATHLEEN CLARE SOH RUILING! Bestf! ♥ Fareen Yeo ♥ Partner-in-Crime ♥ February ♥ Jung Yonghwa 정용화 ♥ CNBLUE! 씨엔블루 ♥ Tiffany Hwang 티파니 ♥ Reminisce,
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Applause, |
| Everything you want, is on the other side of fear. | |
